Drawing 50

I woke up, thinking - what to do today? What does one do when one turns 50? My paints were in my studio, but the only thing that made any sense was to sit myself down right away, and take a good honest look at myself before I had any time to think. I found a watercolor block, and my drawing box and thus began a project of drawing myself every day for my 50th year. To live 50 as a painter, taking a good look each day, whether I have 2 minutes or an hour, and whether I want to or not. And in the way that iterations are not just repetitions but change due to the very fact of being repeated, I will live the year of 50.

Karen Kaapcke, September 2012

The Continuation: I have noticed in this, my 51st year, that I am more my body than ever. Yet I was suddenly barely recognizing it. The need to look at it and 'lean in' with it, to work with it, has become central. As a result, my body is becoming more my own. And more universally representative of the need to be present physically in a way that most women find only happens in the younger, sexy years. 51 = drawing the body.

Karen Kaapcke 3.30.13

A few years later, and I looked into the mirror - and was struck by how foreign my belly was to me. I still don't recognize myself.

Karen Kaapcke 9.20.16
Although this morning I did a painted self-portrait, an oil/color sketch, I still need to do the drawing.  Making the marks on paper with a kind of simplicity, sometimes just two or three strokes - it is through this that the discovery of where I am or the placement of where I need to be, can happen.  The formality that comes with suddently using paint and color makes of it something else.  On my way home from seeing a small but wonderful painting show, I took out my drawing pad and found some window space in which to peer. 

2.7.13, self portrait reflected in the subway window #6, graphite, 4x6", ©Karen Kaapcke 2013

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