Midway thoughts
Drawing each day, this same yet different thing, I have begun to experience an increasing quickness to the arrival of visual ideas - that is, ideas that come not as words, or even possibly translatable into words. But drawing ideas. The pencil has a nearness to me, my states of being are more visual - but only through drawing them. I am experiencing these ideas also as less 'how I look' and more like a certain relationship to space, or a sense of being small or dominated by a particular color or pattern or just a simple emotion when sitting on my daughter's chair; this kind of idea often has only a slight relationship to 'how I look'. This is surprising to me - the path of these drawings is less about me, my 51st year, how do I look as I age - and more about what living as a draftsperson, being-in-the-world as a draftsperson, means. And so, I am finding that sometimes the drawings, while starting with myself, do not have the sense of being about only myself, but a connection to a state that might be, almost, universal.
When I reached my 51st birthday, after doing a self-portrait each day for the previous year, I could not imagine stopping. The date seemed arbitrary, and it's the drawings that get to have the last word.
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